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By Kevin Styles

i-Junky Has Moved

Friday, June 17, 2005
i-Junky Has MOVED!

New location: http://ijunky.blogsome.com Please update your links! And come take a look at the new i-Junky now under the Wordpress system.


Napoleon Dynamite is the bomb! (Not in a good way)

Friday, June 03, 2005
Napoleon Dynamite DVD (2004)

I usually don't watch much indie-comedy films, but I just so happened to stumble across Napoleon Dynamite, which was released just last year (2004).

I don't know much how successful Indie-Comedy films rate at the box office, that's assuming they usually reach to the box office, but for this particular film it didn't even make it to cenimas which gives a pretty good indication of what to expect while watching this.

And sadly my expectations were right all along throughout the film, not only was this film only overly stereotyped on 'nerds' but the main character played by Jon Heder (yes don't worry I haven't heard of this person much either myself) is not only very annoying to listen to for about an hour and half but also irritating to watch not being able to open his eyes throughout the whole movie I assumed.

The film initially shows Napoleon talking quite mildly to himself sitting in the school bus throwing some sort of action figure out the window with a string attached to it, is very misleading showing what kind of character he is, because once this scene is over, the rest of his dialogue is just too annoying to listen too, pretty consisting of unecessary rage and rise in voice throughout his dialogue.

Also throughout the film we see Napoleon helping his new Mexican best friend "Pedro" to win school Presidency - that's another piece of retarded material altogether, then there's Napoleon's family but we all know what I think of this film by now.

Have a look here for some more disgusted reviews and comments on this retarded film.

Soul Plane is a Soul Flop!

Sunday, March 06, 2005
The weather down here, has just been absolutely drenching, not to mention how cold the weather is getting, last couple of days it feels like I just needed to some how hibernate in one way or another to stay warm - and for those who know me I hardly ever complain about the weather, but lately it's just been so abnormal...

but putting that aside, I just rented Soul Plane a comedy basically about a ghetto child growing up in the bronx, get's on a flight one day and conincidently get's his rear end trapped in the plane dunny and somehow recieves $100,000 American (of course) for the liable damages and uses the money to contruct his own airline namely Terminal X.

To be honest I didn't really enjoy the film, it did have it's moments here and there, but generally throughout the movie, it was quite dull and seemed just like an excuse for Snoop Dogg (Captain Mack) to just smoke up some weed and get high on the big screen, even though he always does, it's just that typical.

But let's just focus on what are some decent things in this movie that would make some viewers just think it's like the best movie there is; there is the never ending theme of bling bling throughout the entire film from the wheels on the plane, the whole entire plane and down to the passengers getto' passengers themselves.

The babes in the film add another bit of flavour, which brings me to the fact that this film was nothing more than ghetto-stylin' clubbing' RnB and weed smoking put together and you have a movie, however I should give this movie some credit, as it did sort of have a story line... until half way of the film and from then on it was just buncha funny scenes, babes, rnb clubbin till the end, and by then they must of thought well let's make this abit more dramatic and conclusive ending, which just didn't work for me.

But if they didn't mean to portray the ending as a dramatic, suspenseful type and instead were trying to make it just a humourous ending then I'm afraid they couldn't manage to pull that off either, they only succesfully managed to pull off a few bra's in a couple of scenes, and that was it.

And to balance the movie out, without it being too much ghetto comedy, they thought why not throw in a white guy with a 'typical white guy family', really this movie was dissappointing, no doubt an enjoyable movie for the stoners.

Nothing more than a cheap script, it although did have a nice flow and much enthusiasum, but the script was just yelling for a better writer. A nice attack on the stereotypes. I was really disappointed once again and I just can't stress that enough.

I mean just read some of the other comments, made on this ugly film;


Cute, sexy survivor becomes an animal

Saturday, February 12, 2005
I've never been a fan of Rob Scheider's work, the majority of his films just seem a little bit too retarded for my liking. But that was until I saw The Animal. At first I thought it was going to be just another knock-off the Duece Bigalow movie, which probably is in a way if you think about -- some animal kinky stuff going on there, anyway that's not the point. The real main reason which kept me glued to the television screen watching for non-stop 90minutes of animal behaviour is by one main star in the film... no not Rob Schneider, but a beautiful survivor/actor, Colleen Haskell, and now I'm thinking, why haven't I watched this film when it first made it's appearance? Rob!

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Birth Name: Colleen Marie Haskell
Height: 5' 5"
Birth Date: December 6, 1976
Birth Place: Bethesda, Maryland, USA
Profession: Actress
Education: Connolly school of the Holy Child in Potomac, Maryland Walter Johnson High in Bethesda, Maryland (graduated in 1994)

Colleen was first known on channel nine's Survivor, and incase you're wondering no I was not as pathetic or as low to watch the show, but somehow I'm starting wish I did probably would've had a little Baywatch action happening.
Now I have to be really honest here, she isn't really all that pretty, but she is cute I'll give you that much, and I think that's why I just kept watching The Animal.

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Above is a screen capture from her appearance in the film, apparently The Animal was her debut movie, and I personally think she did a really good job at it. Even though her presence some scenes, for example, the toilet incidenct, where Rob Schneider "The Animal" is in the men's restrooms at a local bar letting the hose leak (doing his business) waiting impatiently for an average fat bloke to leave the rest rooms, Rob now thinking he is the only one in the restrooms, he lents out gas, which does wonders for the stomach and at the same time, Rianna (Colleen Haskell) walks out of one of the male cubicles, Rob quickly turns around apologizing. It just so happens, the lines for the ladies room was too long of a wait for Rianna. Her appearance in this particular scene I think the make-up crew could have gone easy on the make-up seriously, if you see her, she has obviously been brushed up way too much and almost too much photo-perfect.

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Obviously abit too much on the make-up side of things, but nevertheless cute and abit on the chub side. Even though this was her first movie, I'm sure there will be many other film oppurtunities for her and I can't wait to see them. An article or page featurette if you like from a magazine below; and I quote "I felt more comfortable on survivor with no make-up on", "the producers didn't want to do anything too crazy with my look - they said make her look as natural as possible - which took like two hours!"

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Again shows, just the amount of effort put into make-up could have been easily used to help Rob Schneider yield better acting results, I personally really hate his acting, although quite humourous, but retarded. This film is the only one of his films which has managed to get my vote for a decent movie and it's not entirely on Rob's efforts. I think it could be these two possible factors;
1. Colleen Haskell entirely on looks and her performance for a debut film.
2. Adam Sandler had a little something to do with the production team for the film, which I had no idea until near end of the film, where he makes quite a small, yet humourous appearance.

So to other non Rob Schneider fan's like myself, I suggest you watch this film -- because it'll be worth watching, and trust me, that's a pretty big bold statement coming from someone who quite frankly doesn't give a shit about Rob Schneider (nothing personal), this just goes to show you, how important other characters in the film must play to be watchable and enjoyable.